Wishes

I'll hold my breath and make a wish, that someday my daughter will find these things are a part of her life.


I hope that she will see the world as a gate to endless treasures. That she will be fascinated by nature and science, languages and poetry. I hope that she will see the beauty in all things and ever be the optimistic one.

I hope that she will grow to respect others and to help others to achieve their goals as well as achieve her own. Also that she will be smart enough to know right from wrong, and walk the correct path.

I hope that she will hold her head high, but not look down her nose. That she will carry herself with poise and grace, but not walk as if she is God's gift to the world.

I hope that she knows she is beautiful, inside and out, without ever feeling that she is better than everybody else. That she has a sense of modesty, but also a sense of fashion and fun. That she is not afraid to mix things up a little, but won't get stuck in the mess.

I hope that she learns that life is short, but only in so much as it should be savored every step of the way. I hope that when she experiences pain, emotional or physical, that she is aware it will pass and that life will go on again.

I hope, beyond hope that she is happy, respectful, decent, creative and wise. I hope this for both of my daughters, and I know that my daughter Madeline is well on her way to achieving these things. Maybe short of the graceful walking part...she is a clumsy one at times.

And I secretly hope, beyond all hope, that she always remembers how much her family loves her, and will always be here for her.

Hopes and dreams are what we build our own lives out of.

Polish and Shine

There's something to be said for nesting instincts. There's also something to be said for Spring Cleaning and the fact that family will be coming to stay with us the week you are born. I've managed to channel all the nesting and quite frankly, I don't think our house has been this clean in a long long time. Considering I clean a lot as it is, that's saying something.

I've gone through closets and cupboards and kitchen and bathroom drawers. I went through the fridge and threw out anything that was turning, though I've yet to wash the fridge out, I am sure that's coming soon. I've cleaned out the linen closet, the pantry and the laundry room shelves. I've done laundry and dishes and scrubbed sinks and toilets till they sparkle. Upstairs is almost done. :)

Tomorrow I will wash the floors, and then Daddy gets home on Friday and can help me vacuum on Saturday.

Note: Shantelle and Jen did an awesome baby shower on the 26th for you, all in polka-dots and black and green and white. It was awesome fun and you have many new clothes now. The only things we are missing for you are some footie jammies for 0-3 months and a few pairs of tights to wear with your dresses.

We got a great night's sleep last night. Or at least, I got a great night's sleep last night. You probably wiggled the whole time, as you are want to do. I was so exhausted that I had a bath, folded some laundry and went straight to sleep. Waking only twice to take some Tums medication because you're kicking my stomach and I have bad acid reflux lately.

Oh baby. 19 days and you'll be here. We are so excited. Madeline keeps telling everyone that she is going to be a big sister and that she is going to teach you all sorts of things. I can't wait. :)

Dear Baby

Dear Baby,

It has been seven years since I last wrote a "Dear Baby" letter, but I think I still have the basics down. Tomorrow you will have been growing for 35 weeks, and you are certainly growing out of room in there! Your heart rate at the last doctor's appointment was 149, and you are now not really kicking so much as doing death rolls like an alligator. BOOM BOOM BOOM.

With this pregnancy I have a new love of baked goods, a decreased desire to shop (Which is NOT normal at all!) and an incredibly boosted desire to do crafty things like sewing and crocheting.

You seem to be most active at night when I'm trying to fall asleep ( between 8:30 and 11pm ) and first thing in the morning, because let's face it, your big sister Madeline has to get up at 7:00 am and no one likes that at all.

I'm getting nervous about going in for surgery again, even though I know how it all goes. I suppose no one is ever ready for surgery, you just have to suck it all up and get it over with. The blessing of this surgery is going to be you. :)

I am really looking forward to having a baby in the house again. I am mentally prepared for all that is involved this time, in diapers and feedings and naps and play time and days where you will most likely just be grumpy because you can be. I'm not too sure how I will be doing physically for the first month though. It took a while for my c-section scar from Madeline's birth to stop hurting, even though it had healed up on the outside it was still a little tender on the inside.

Madeline is super excited to have a sister soon, though I know she has no idea what is in store for her. We have given her two shelves in her room and she has closets to put all of her breakable things in so that you don't break them by accident, and she is really excited about her new room in the basement. If anything, remember that the first thing your big sister did for you was a selfless act of kindness. She gave up her room upstairs so that her new baby sibling could be closer to mommy and daddy. She says she can not wait to teach you to crawl, walk, talk and read. She asked for a sibling. She wanted you pretty badly. :) We're just all so grateful that we could have you.

Daddy is really excited too, although he's been working so hard lately to get all his work trips out of the way, so he can spend more time with you once you're here, that he has been exhausted. He painted your room green with Uncle Jeremy's help though, and it looks great!

Grandma and Grandpa McKnight will be here the day before you are born to help with the house and with your sister getting home from school. You and I are going to go in to the hospital with Daddy on the 18th of April 2011, and you will be born via c-section at 1pm or so. Then we will spend 3 or 4 days in a hospital room snuggling and spending time together with family and friends who come to visit and see you!

Baby, we have waited a long time for you, and we are so glad that we get to meet you in a month. Don't hurry. We're going to evict you 5 days early anyway! Might as well stay cozy in there with no rent. :)

Love you!

Mommy

Crafty Things

So we ordered that Moses Basket and it arrived five days from our purchase. It got here, and I realized that to attach the hood to the base it was just velcro. Well, as sturdy as that is, I could envision it adhering to all sorts of things, be that the car, peoples clothing or even the dog. So I rushed out to buy some ribbon that matched the theme in the room and I weaved it around the velcro to seal it all away. With the added benefit that it gave the basket a bit of color. I was feeling pretty crafty that day, I seem to get a lot of crafty days lately, so I made a matching pillow for the crib and had some leftover fabric. I used that to make a summer blanket for the Moses Basket that we can also use for a changing pad surface if we need to.

The basket is pretty large, but the only way I could think of to show that was to have Madeline lay down beside it. :)

Today I had a moment where I could sit down and used that time to make this cute little clipie/bow/flower organizer for the baby's room. It was so easy! I promised Madeline we would go look for a large frame for her very soon so I can make her one backed in purple to match her room.

Items in Her Diaper Bag

1. Diapers
2. Wipes
3. Travel Size lotion
4. Travel Size baby wash
5. Travel Size rash cream
6. Burp Cloth x2
7. Wash Cloth x3
8. Spare baby clothes
9. Bib
10. Pacifiers
11. Breast Pads
12. Udder Cover
13. Sling
14. Breast Pump
15. Bottle
16. Baby footie jammies
17. Changing pad
18. Pacifier clip/chain
19. Aveeno lotion for mommy
20. Baby hat

Soon to be added: Chapstick

The Truth About C-Sections

The below information was a reply to a few ladies on a pregnancy forum that I frequent, who had expressed their fear at having c-sections because they didn't really know what was involved in the process. I hope to have been honest with them, and that now at least they feel a little more informed.

The information you are looking for changes from person to person. I guess it really depends on how you look at life, what your pain threshold is, and how quickly the process happens.

My daughter was an emergency c-section. The only thing scary about it was that it was not planned for.

They give you a local anesthetic, which numbs you pretty much everywhere because they tend to just put it in your IV. Then they call in the dude that will give you your spinal block, which sounds awful, but because of the local anesthetic you won't feel it, so just focus on something else.

You will be able to feel things from your chest up, but they will be tingly and a little tiny bit numb. Like walking in out of the snow. They wheel you in to the OR, and put up the screen. They lay your arms out to the sides, making you form a T-shape. This is so that they can make sure your IV/pulse etc is good.

You feel a bit of pressure, and they pull out baby. They will do a quick check of your ovaries and any nearby internal organs for cysts or abnormalities (I mean they're in there already, they might as well have a look-see and catch anything odd without sending you home to find out later about it)

They make sure baby is breathing, then wrap him/her in blankets and put on the little hat, then let you see them before they take them off quickly to the neonatal care unit to do their sight and hearing tests and take a blood sample.

I sent DH with the baby at this point. I'd rather he be with her and make sure she was fine. I had a lot of people helping me out.

Then they suture everything up and send you off to recovery.

In recovery, you've lost a bit of blood, but not to worry, baby gave you a lot of extra blood this whole pregnancy, so you had some to spare anyway, and now she doesn't need it anymore. But between that and the medication you are going to feel cold. You'll shiver, but this is your body coming off the medication and it only lasts a little while. They will bring you warm blankets (They felt like they were right out of the dryer after my mum had done the laundry when I was a kid! :P)

Once you're "Stable", as in no longer freezing your fanny off, you will be taken to your own room.

They will come to check how much bleeding you are having. They want to make sure that as much tissue is passed (The er, normal way) as possible. This will decrease chances of infection later. They removed the Placenta during your operation, so now it is just the thick layers of membrane that you built up on the walls of your uterus to protect baby that needs to be shed. Women who have had babies typically bleed for 2 to 6 weeks after having baby. So have a lot of "Overnight" sanitary napkins at your disposal.

You get to stay in this private room for 3-4 days and have baby with you as much as you'd like. They come to help you breast feed if you want them to, they will teach you to change diapers if you've never done that before, they will even teach you to bathe baby properly. Speaking of bathing, you can't have a bath for a week or so, but you can shower. you just can not soak your incision.

The incision is less than the width of a pencil lead, and it will be 5 or 6 inches long. It will look a lot worse when you first get it than it will when it has healed, I PROMISE you. I can still wear bikinis on the beach and no one is the wiser.

Hospitals bring you food, drink, clean bedding and information. Not to mention, they have brought you the best thing ever. Your new baby.

Please do not be scared ladies. If I had known how this process was going to go before I had it done myself I would have shrugged it off. It is not a bad process at all. They keep you well medicated so you don't feel pain, and it is all over within an hour.

*Hugs*

Again, everyone has a different experience, and I know well enough that sometimes things go not so well. But I've a few friends that can back me with their experiences being similar, so I imagine most of them are like mine.

Good luck, DON'T PANIC.

Portable bed for baby!

This amazingly cute moses basket should be arriving tomorrow! I am so excited!

Rockabye Baby

Pillows, cushions and boxes. Those are what little girl's rooms are made of. In part anyway. HURRAY FOR PHOTO UPDATES!